Skoombag - Become a Skooma chef

A simple mod that allows you to cook Skooma on any cooking station!

Welcome to Scuba, you degraded! (I love you all!)

Have you ever had a cheesy backstabbing character and thought "Man, murder and robbery isn't enough! I know! I'll basically cook up the Tamriel equivalent of crystal meth!"

You caught Moon Sugar, you caught Night Shadow, and then...

No. Skuma

Damn it, Bethesda? I want to make drugs in SKYRIM!

"No fear!" cried a slimy cephalopod, slowly wriggling its way toward the front of the room.

"Look, Skoombag!"

This is a very simple mod and so far its functionality is basic at best. Basically, all Skoombag does is allows you to make Skooma, Redwater Skooma, Double-Distilled Skooma and two other variations with special effects. That's it

Q: "But, Squidward, I went to the alchemy station, mixed the ingredients, and nothing happened!"

A: Yes. Alchemy stations are heavily regulated by the Empire, so none of these facilities can produce Skoma. However, they ignored Skyrim's cooking stations (because seriously, everyone does it. Why take 15 rounds of cheese to get a steak?).

Question: "Wait, it says I mixed moon sugar with tomato juice to make 'unrefined skoma'. How to refine it?"

A: Very easy! If you want plain old Skooma, add more moon sugar. If you are using Redwater Skooma, add a small amount of vampire dust. If you want a very powerful Dragon Skooma, add Dragon Bone. If you want a crude, inferior "basically acetone" crude Skooma, you can mix Moon Sugar, Frostbite Venom, and Snowberry. If you want a weak selling point for the Empire-friendly healing potion "Scume," it's three cabbages, two leeks, and a giant's toe. If you want the runny, most toxic version of Nordic Skjuma (popular among Stormcloaks), it's ale, unrefined Skooma and a few other little ingredients.

If you want a rich Skomara, it's unrefined Skomara + cheese.

Q: "Will this mod make Nazeem less of a jerk?"

A: Nothing will make Nazeem less of an asshole. But if you have a high opinion of Skooma, you probably don't care at all.

Q: "Is this a mod comp-"

Answer: Yes. I don't even need to hear what mod you're asking about. If you still have ingredients and cooking stations in your world, then yes, this mod will work. Also, any mod that affects vanilla will work, as this is just a secret recipe.

Version 1.1! -Nazeem is still a, but...

I fixed the "crude Skooma" effect and added two faction-specific Skooma varieties and Thin Skooma.

What is a thick cyst?

It’s the dairy-enhanced effects of your favorite narcotic! Now add the extra cheese!

Version 1.2! -Yes, I'm alive!

Okay, okay! I bet you all thought your favorite modder, Squidfest, was dead. Well, I quickly entered the world of Fallout 4 modding and immediately received a pause and a stop from some Ukrainian guy who was upset by my poor grasp of modding. Fearing the wrath of "The Pirates," I went into hiding, completely neglected modding, and retreated into an entirely separate community, World of Warcraft. *cough* Mistake made.

But now, realizing that it's been a long time since this mod (which is my most successful BY FAR) has gotten a pretty big update, so I did it!

This adds three new types of Skooma: Altmeri Skooma (for all you snobs out there harboring noble Talos-nuisances), Dwemer Skooma (for all you underground super-intelligent elf people out there who have long-distance deaths), and Children's Skooma (for the little ones who're going around Skyrim to get them to ingest cocaine at a young age.

For Altmeri Skooma, dissolve a moonstone ingot (not an ore, these are high elves, so they must be refined!) in unrefined Skooma and cook it with a bay leaf. What is that? Don’t you have a bay leaf? Why, this coveted Nordic scum cum can’t be spared-*slap* OW! Okay, so, just the first two.

For Dwemeri Skooma, this is a piece of Dwemer metal and normal Skooma ingredients. Maazel TV!

For Children's Skooma, it's Children's Shoes (what? Don't look at me, it's the Khajiits who keep coming up with th …