potion of passionate love

A simple drink that keeps animals and vampires refrigerated for 24 hours at a time.

So now you're making drinks?

Well it's not me...

Oh no...

Oh yes! Invisible enchanted gnomes are.

Go ahead.

Following the release of the TOE clothing line, invisible charming gnomes found themselves under attack by SETAV or Skyrim, the moral treatment of animals and vampires (1). Since the TOE clothing line uses stealth armor, there's a question of whether concealment originates from something like a goat, or something as cute as a saber-eating cat or a wolf-eating man. There's also the fact that it's definitely not vegetarian or vegan. The invisible, charming dwarf fears the business will be destroyed before it even gets off the ground.

The invisible charming dwarf is unwilling to go down without a fight and tries to reason with SETAV. They promise to only use leather armor with certificates saying the animals are free range, and to kill humanely with weapons that are not magical or capable of soul traps, but the radical vegetarians in SETAV (2) retain their firepower just fine. There was no way SETAV could back down, especially since they had the support of a bard named Smith.

In the process, IEG's bioscience department has made breakthrough progress. They discovered that if they simmered the animals slowly, they could extract pheromones from them (3), making them very relaxed when approached even if the invisible, charming gnomes gave up their invisibility. There are also two bonus effects. The first is the vampires, who can often find invisible enchanted gnomes seeming to be very cold, although these roars are another story. The second is that any attack on an animal does not cause the entire group to disperse, but only the attacked animal to attack. For best results it should be applied to the skin, but early tests suggest Skyrim's harsh climate means effectiveness wears off quickly. Another way is to turn it into a delicious (4) drink, and they found that these effects lasted for a long time because the pheromones seeped through the skin. The only downside is that it doesn't seem to work on mammoths, or at least if they take action to alert giants of their presence. They sent a report to CEO Googoo, but weren't sure if they would find a use for it.

Just as the battle against SETAV looks like it's being lost, Googoo reads the report with interest. Maybe he had one last roll of the dice. He contacted SETAV and told them that if they didn't stop and stop, then he would release the drink he had created, which meant that the animals that would normally attack humans on sight or on the run would now not be a little nervous, allowing the hunters to pervert them. If they weren't going to make money from the TOE Collection, they were going to make money from the potion, now named Bestial Love Potion, and release it to the mass market. SETAV says they will not back down from pathetic threats and attempts at extortion.

The invisible charming gnome has nothing to lose.

As is standard practice, they needed to give the Dragonborn cookbook some publicity and they left the recipe on Breezeholme's doorstep in Whiterun. Elrindir, trying to be a good neighbor, found the letter outside and brought it into the Drunken Huntsman, then promptly forgot about it and put it in a chest in his bedroom.

Things get even worse for the Invisible Collector Gnome.

So what did you really do?

If you walk seven thousand steps and activate 10 shrines on the way up, you'll get a beautiful dwarf called Sky Voice. This will calm most animals and vampires so they don't run away or attack you. The problem is that it only lasts 24 hours and if you lose it you need to redo 10 shrines. I decided making a potion (although it's actually cooking, I set it to food so it's in the food tag) would do the trick.

How do I get it?

Go to the Drunken Huntsman and the upstairs bedroom, retrieve the recipe from the chest, and cook it at any cooking station.

Any known issues?

No, I …